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    know anyone. I sometimes wonder if I should just send my picture first before
    taking the time to express an interest. As if the things I express in my
    writing have less to do with me than the image I display.
    Men and women both look at a picture and then go about projecting their hopes,
    dreams, desires, fears, and hangups onto a photograph of someone they don't
    even know. They may not like some aspect of appearance be it face, weight,
    body type, or some idea of who we should be from a hollywood movie. We go
    about the business of selling ourselves to one another because we live in a
    society in which a _value_ is placed on things we sell about ourselves to one
    another.
    In general it is the turns on and the turns offs that keep something alive or
    kill it fast. My first turn off is "no pic-no reply". The second in line is an
    expectation of beauty, social, or monetary success before "you will ever be
    considered". My advice to the people who try to sell themselves to these sorts
    of adds, is to not launch into the sales pitch even if you meet the criterea.
    It is a sense of humor, a sense of common humanity, and a sense of give and
    take friendship that are the turn ons.
    The most common issue between the sexes is dating. It can either form the
    foundation for a lasting friendship and intimate partnership, or just
    reinforce the hurts that have still not healed all the way. If men cannot
    relate to the hurts a woman has been through via others of their sex and women
    cannot relate to the hurts men have gone through by way of their fair sex,
    then neither one of you has any business trying to find the next man or woman
    to take the place of all of the dogs you both have picked.
    Stick to the Platonic section if this is the case.
    My advice to the men and women using CL to find a potential mate is always be
    independent of the romantic traps that society puts us into. Ladies have the
    right to meet and talk with as many men as they want in any given month and
    men have a right to meet and talk with any given lady without feeling like
    they have to spring for expensive dates or even coffee for that matter.
    Furthermore the more thought a person puts into their emails the better chance
    you will have that they are sincere and generous.
    Interests in common should be all two people need to get to know each other
    and STARBUCKS is not a common interest.
    Our relationship(s) with the opposite sex is the primary aspect of our common
    humanity. The more we partner with each other to reject the commercialization
    of the dating world the better off we will be as a society of potential
    families, existing families, and of course best friendships.
    Mark
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